In the mind of Manic Depression

I know that you are always there, yet sometimes I feel alone.

I know that you love me, yet I sometimes don’t seem worthy.

My mind at times is void while I try to fill it with your promises of forgiveness, mercy and grace.

I walk around with a tightness in my stomach waiting for some unknown tragedy to occur.

I toss and turn in the darkness of my room feeling like a stranger in a home that doesn’t feel like welcoming me in.

I look at myself in the mirror and ask, “who am I?”

I cry without reason, I sob in the pillow that isn’t mine and let the salt in the tears burn on my face to let me know I am alive in this moment.

I want something but don’t know what it is.

I need more of you and lack the motivation to run towards you.

I fill my body with prescription to ‘help’ me through my day in vain.

I am strong for the things I don’t need and weak for the things I do need.

I am a stranger in my own life but know everyone I want in it.

I don’t know where I am going but complete my routine daily in confidence.

I feel stuck but free.

I am tired during the day and can’t sleep at night.

My legs are restless without the urge to go anywhere.

I am, I just am.

You know my need Lord. I am calling on you. Set me free, really free.


2 thoughts on “In the mind of Manic Depression

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